Gotta go back (back), back (back) to School Again!

In mid-July, I started watching the mailbox for Laney's first teacher letter, think I was more excited than she was. I checked that mailbox like I was watching ebay. And then...it came! A sweet little letter with an attached supply list. I found a picture of her teacher and I'm pretty sure she must be a child prodigy because she looks like she can't be a day over 18.

Supply lists. I have been making supply lists as a teacher for the last 15 years.No big deal.

Ummm...apparently the parenting side of the supply list...not so easy.  The list looked simple enough. Super cute really. First on the list...a backpack. Laney picked one out weeks ago so no problem there. (Note: Turns out this is a bad thing to get in advance because there are dozens of much cooler backpacks all over every store you go into and the little one had some buyer's remorse). 

Next on the list was a 12 pack of Crayola Thick Markers. Found those right away and only  $.99! Score! Oh wait...only 10 in the pack? So I looked around...I'm pretty confident there aren't 12 packs. Eventually I convinced Laney we could squeeze 2 extra markers from home into her box. Phew!

Glue sticks. Check. Baby wipes. Check. Crayons. $.50! Awesome! Pencils...pencils...pencils...Ack! No Ticonderoga to be found!!

I know that some parents may think we teachers are nuts for requesting a specific type of pencil, but please, stick to the list! It's Ticonderoga or nothing. Those 1 cent pencils...are a waste of your pennies and valuable learning time as your child spends half of math sharpening the off center lead only for it to break in minutes. And don't even get me started on using those erasers, might as well just call it the pink "rock". Ticonderoga, period.

Okay, gonna have to go to another store for the pencils (Come on Target..you'll notice your bins of Up and Up pencils are overflowing, stock more of the good stuff...for the teachers!)

Last thing...4 black expo markers. After searching all over, all I could find was colored markers.  Then I see it, the empty black Expo marker bin. Really!? Her school doesn't start for 15 days and you're already out of black Expo markers.

So here it is. I got my first kindergartner's supply list and it turns out it a 2 store list. I was really just hoping she'd get to pick out some Lisa Frank pee cheez...maybe 1st grade...

Vacation Time!

So last week, I told a friend we were going on a little vacation! Hahaha! Imagine that! A vacation! I should really know better. Moms don't do vacations...we do trips. Fun trips! Memorable trips! Trips.  Vacations imply that there will be some relaxing and well...that's just silly.

When I was loading up our soon to be overflowing car, I heard my 3 year old... "Let's scream as loud as we can!!" to her sister. Vacation. I don't think so.

Our destination was a mere 2 1/2 hours away, which is nothing in single person time, but in mom time, it's a day trip.  Being the planner that I am, I had an intended time to leave, I planned a couple stops and I hoped to be there before dinner. Spoiler alert: we didn't make it.

So I'm going to share some of my vacationing tips and maybe they can help someone else with their "vacation". 

Tip 1: Packing - my husband and I don't normally fit many traditional gender roles, but when it comes to packing, we definitely do.  As we're loading the car, my husband says he's all ready. I'm running around grabbing last minute items. I have a tribe to prepare. One of my favorite tricks is to pack each outfit into a ziplock bag. I include everything...socks, underwear, hair clips...it's awesome!

Tip 2: Food - all the snacks. I recently started to call the center console in the car "the Pantry". I keep a variety of snacks ranging from general hungry (a granola bar), to "time taker" (a cheerio necklace that takes about 10 mins to eat) to "meltdown snacks" (any mom guilt snack used to help me survive the aforementioned meltdown). When we're traveling, these snacks are all the more important. Nothing like going somewhere with a car full of hangry people.

Tip 3: Stories on CD! I've gotten into the habit of grabbing a couple of these before we go. I use them when I can't handle all the noise beautiful singing and sweet game playing along the drive. In order to hear the story, we must be quiet. Warning: This does not include cds with books...I prefer to save the lessons in turn taking for when were not all stuck in a small vehicle together.

Tip 4: Ummm...I had about 6 tips brainstormed this morning at 2 am when I was feeding the baby...Hopefully they'll come back to me soon!

For now...happy traveling! :)

Kids...Always a Mind of Their Own!

The baby's coming! Oh wait...no it's not. Yes it is! No...wait...no.

My first two adorable little munchkins arrived about a week early. As a type A person, that is how I like it. I started having contractions and I knew it was time to go in.  With Laney I probably labored for about 20 hours and with Emi I went in around 8 am and had her by 3 pm.  Then there is this sweet little gal.  First of all, no one told her, but we do EARLY deliveries in our family. None of this overdue business, but here we sit on my due date and she just seems to be kickin' along, no real rush for anything.

I've always gotten a lot of contractions, but that doesn't seem to mean much. Apparently I have an irritable uterus (not the only thing that will be irritable if she stays in there much longer...)

In a million ways, this entire pregnancy has been a different experience for me.  We were so fortunate to be able to get pregnant quickly after our loss last year.  As I've opened my eyes to the world of loss and infertility, I realize just how fortunate we are. A struggle with personally knowing that reality, is that I am constantly aware of the risk. For a long time, I tried to stay detached, but now as I sit here...40 full weeks...I am completely attached to this little gal...still scared...definitely! But still in love.

This sweet girl will always be the one who came after our loss, but more than that, she'll be our precious 4th baby girl. The only who I started feeling kick at 13 weeks, who kept me up, almost nightly, between 12-1 while she did her acrobatics, the one who got comfortable and waited until she was good and ready to arrive on HER time.

I know that in a week or two, I'll be completely exhausted and overwhelmed, but for now, today, I need to soak in this moment of joy intermixed with past sorrow, of anticipation and fear. This moment knowing that all control is out of my hands and in the hands of our Father in Heaven.

To my sweet girls (all 4 of them): I love you so much and thank God for each day I got and still have to spend with you.

18 Months Pregnant

Did you know that an elephant is pregnant for somewhere between 18 and 22 months? I have now been pregnant for as long as an elephant! (Minus a 3 month period in the middle that I'd rather not revisit.). I'm a pretty strict rule follower so that pretty much means no deli meat, not soft cheeses, no alcohol, no caffeine, no wild adventures (though this kind of is one) for 18 months! Hmmm...really empathizing with those poor elephants these days.

Becoming pregnant after our loss was a bit of a "thing". We decided to give ourselves some time to just mourn loss of our little girl. Goes without saying that was a really hard time. After 3 months, we decided we would revisit the topic. Well 3 months passed...often agonizingly slow.  We weren't sure we'd want to try again, but I just couldn't look at a picture of our family without seeing 3. I couldn't imagine being done and having those experiences be my last. I couldn't retrain my brain to picture our girls not having one more sibling. So...here we are.  

It's been a rough ride at times Someone recently found out I was pregnant and said, "Well, luckily at 30 weeks you're in the safe zone." I smiled and nodded and, of course, that nod meant, "SAFE ZONE!! There is no safe zone!" But that's life I figure, there isn't a safe zone, but this is an experience worth the risks.

I know that 3 kids is going to be crazy (no one lies to you about how easy it'll be by the 3rd), but I'm excited about our family.  I wish I was able to relax and embrace every moment, but, honestly, that's just not happening this time around. This pregnancy is hard. Not because of the peeing all night, not because of the lack of sleeping or getting kicked in the ribs hard (though that's hard, too). More forbidding myself from google searching, trying to forget that I'm pregnant, planning for a baby while not counting on a baby, hard.

That said, there sure have been a lot of little blessings throughout this process.

First, my girls. They are AMAZING. They are sooo excited for another baby sister! They let me rest on the couch in the evenings. "Emi don't bother mom! She's growing a baby!" They give me an extra cookie for the baby whenever we're sharing treats.  They are the first to tell every person we meet that I am pregnant again so that I don't have to say it out loud when I'm feeling unsure. They have helped brainstorm a great list of names...(Vanilla, New, Emi...) Their excitement is wonderfully contagious!

Second, my placenta is in the back. What that means is, since week 13 I have been able to feel this baby rocking and rolling. I find myself worried at the most random times, but then I suddenly feel her and I can relax again. Phew!

Third, well, life is good. I know we're going to hit many more hurdles along the way, but for now, I'll just sit here in the knowledge that in spite of all the struggles life good.  Plus, I'm just gonna sit here because this baby belly has popped and I'd rather not move.

Love and hugs!